When was the last time you felt like an alien? No, not an alien of the extraterrestrial variety, but more of uncomfortable, out of place, or even unwelcome. Was it the time your best friend dragged you out for a night on the town, though you only had visions of Netflix for your evening? What about that time you had to move across town, to a new state, or even to a new country?

You get the type of alien I’m talking about now. As much as we would like to avoid the feeling, at some point, it is inevitable. There are some amazing ways to overcome the alien feeling, though. No matter if you just walked into your first day on the job or the first day in a new community, rely on these three key steps to adapt to your surroundings and become a local in your mind.

Mindset

The first step to overcoming a new or difficult situation is to make sure you truly want to adapt. People who don’t open their minds to possibility  are closed to the very thing which will release them from the difficult situation. If we enter a friendly gathering with no intent on being talkative or no interest in being around others, there’s no doubt we won’t assimilate to the atmosphere before the night is over. As Oprah said, “you don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”

Research

Great, so you have the right mindset, now you must employ some tips and tricks to help you through your situation. Another step could include a quick Google search, which is never a bad way to start; at least you are looking for help. As you know, you will become inundated with hundreds of new, potentially non-effective options to help you with your situation. Of course, 9 Ways to Make a New City Feel Like Home, 10 More Tips to Dealing with Coworkers, 7 Ways to Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin all probably offer great information to helping with your situation. However, no two situations are the same.

Reading

What if there are no simple tricks to helping you get out of the difficult situation? Why not turn to books for help? No, not textbooks or boring journals about critical thinking. I am talking about reading a new novel and exploring how others have handled difficult situations in their lives, no matter fictional or not.

In Outside Ascension, Amanda has found herself in a place where she didn’t know about the customs, the people, or the world. She must learn about anons, how respect is gained or lost, and what truly is important to others. Often, she learns through trial and error, all the while maintaining the same persistence as can be found with a solid mental foundation. Then, when the customs from back home stop working, she learns to adapt even when the cards are against her. It not only provides a new perspective on a tough situation but also inspires others to keep plugging along until they are on the bright side of the situation.

When people start a new job or move to a new city, they have to learn to fit in, just as Amanda did. When we are dealt a tough day with coworkers, we must learn to manage the conflict, just as Amanda learned to deal with conflict. Are you ready to give it a try?

At the end of the day, you have to find out what works for you. Maybe Google’s tips and tricks do it for you. Maybe you will find someone close to you to go to for advice. Perhaps you will find the answers to your feelings of alienation between two book covers. Who knows, you may just find what works for you without trial or error.